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Biblical CounselingThis Counseling Model is to be used with discernment to help relieve the pressure of a specific need situation to help strengthen a person or to refer them to professional help. This is a counseling model, counselors do not take the place of professional psychologists. Counselors are temporary assistance if the problem is serious and can not be helped the person must be referred to a professional. If you don’t like our method that is fine just make sure you nurture and care for those in need, make them feel the love of Jesus in and through you. Why Christian Counseling you may ask? Can’t I just blow people of and forget about it? No, not if you want to obey Jesus. He said if you come to GOD with a gift and there remember you have a problem with your brother go and make the problem straight Matt 5:21-24. As a Christian you may feel a burning desire inside to rectify wrongs you have committed John 16:8-11. You may have read a scripture that has spoken to your heart about restoring the hurt, lost, and depressed. If that is the case I would like to a lay out a simple gospel orientated method of problem solving for Christians and people you witness to, so that you may exalt Christ in all we do. In counseling number one you must have the compassion and love of Jesus burning in your heart to serve, seek, and save that which is lost Matt 9:35-38; Luke 19:10. Jesus had compassion on the crowd, not empathy. He did not feel bad for the people because He thought they were pathetic. He had compassion because He loved them and felt their hurt. Compassion is feeling their pain with them, carrying their burdens, discipling, teaching, exhorting, loving, comforting, commissioning, praying for boldness, etc… Gal 6:2; Heb 3:13; Matt 28:18-20; Eph 6:18. If the person does not see the compassion of God they will see you as a hypocrite and rightly so Matt 6:1; 7:15-21. Jesus told us to share the love and fellowship of Holy Spirit not pharisaical religion. Hearing words of correction without love is like a cymbal making a lot of clanging noises and doing no good other than agitating it exponents 1 Cor 13; Gal 5:22. Preach Jesus as the solution pray every time you counsel for all their problems John 14:6. Ask God to give you a word of knowledge/wisdom, a prophetic word, a scripture, and/or a word of exhortation or encouragement for their need Eph 6:10-18; 1 Cor 12:8-12; Rom 12:6-8; 1 Thes 5:17-21. Preach Jesus as their saver, healer, baptizer in The Holy Spirit for power over the enemy, deliverer and son coming king Matt 10:1,8,10-16; 11:28-30; Luke 24:49; Acts 1:8-11. Without love you words can cut. Scripture say that in your words you have the power of live and death Pro 18:21. You can either speak spiritual life into their situation or spiritual death. I would much rather pray for God to become the healer that He might bring life, because when we rely to much on mans wisdom we fall short John 14:6. They will know we are Jesus disciples by our love John 15:12. The art of Christian counseling is really that of Matt 28:19 making disciples who know The Godhead trinity through prayer, bible study, and dedication to God through water baptism etc…. The main goal is to build up and encourage the age old and newly formed Christians to become all they can be in Christ Eph 4:13. Ask for The Spirit to lead all that you say and do. Do not take you own personal intuition for The Spirit leading check yourself and the words you say with God and His holy word 1 Tim 3:16; 2 Pet 1:19-21. Remember Jesus is our source, prayer is our weapon and His healing word is the answer we need Matt 5:21-24. Deal with the problem issue, bring it out in the light and then pray about it. Do not justify it, ask for God to reveal it as it is and as his holy word says it is. If you have a problem with you brother take it to him ask for his forgiveness. Forgive him if you want to be forgiven Matt 6:14. When you take your problem to your brother go in love and humbleness Matt 18:15-20; Gal 5:22; James 4:6-10; 1 Cor 13; 2 Cor 10:4; Eph 4:13-32. Be slow to speak and slow to anger. Do not sin against your brother. Many are the words of the foolish Pro 14:16-17. Few are the words of the wise. There is wisdom in seeking advice from many advisors or counselors Pro 20:18; 24:3,4. Ask God for help and guidance; also ask qualified Christian brethren for help. Listen, pray, and them express your opinion. If you rebuke a fool, he will hate you; If you rebuke a wise man, he will love you Pro 9:8. He said if you come to GOD with a gift and there remember you have a problem with your brother go and make the problem straight Matt 5:21-24. If you have a problem take it to you brother, pray about it, bind up the hindrances, and forgive the sins Matt 18:15-21; 7:1-6. If they ask forgiveness let them go and never bring it up again. If it happens again deal with the specific issue like it is the first time. This may be hard, but Jesus said to keep forgiving. Win them by your love, devotion, and prayers. Pray one for another that you sins’ may be forgiven you. Cast down the strongholds, arguments, pride, anything that exalts itself against the knowledge of the gospel 2 Cor 10:4; James 4:1-10; 2 Chron 7:14. Remember we do not battle against flesh and blood our brethren but principalities and powers of the heavenly realms Eph 6:12; John 19:10-11; Luke 23:34; Pro 21:22. Know the person you are going to talk to and ask for God to give you the words. If you have been injured number one you must forgive Matt 6:14, and ask for forgiveness Matt 7:7-12,13,14. Be slow to speak and slow to anger Pro 15:1,2,9,29. Watch you tongue and what you say Matt 12:36. Do not say anything God doesn’t tell you to say. Do not judge Matt 7:1-6; Rom 14:13 the person or the situation. When you are in the situation take all aspects of personal involvement out. Put your opinion aside for the moment, ask for God presence and healing power to bring His healing and restoration. If you allow you emotions into a healing discussion you will get embittered and speak out of anger or self-protection. If you are truly Gods child you do not need to defend yourself, God said, "Vengeance is THE LORDS" Duet 32:5. Are you God? No, I don’t think so! Let God work it out. He will vindicate us when we get to heaven. We must bless those who curse us Matt 5:43-48. Go with those who persecute you give them what they ask take the blame Matt 5:38-42, for you will be free of sin when you are vindicated on judgement day Matt 7:1. Be gracious and kind. Agree with them when they are wrong let God vindicate you or correct you in his own time. Forgive them in your heart; do not allow yourself to harbor bitterness. Stay in the vine and allow God to prune you so that you may bear much fruit and fruit that remains John 15:1-17; Matt 7:15-20 Gal 5:22; 1 Cor 13. Do Gods will and build upon the rock Matt 7:21-29. Forgive, forget, and do not fear man but fear God who can and will burn those who reject Him in the lake of fire which burneth with fire and brimstone Matt 10:27-42; 26:46; 2 Thes 1:7-8. Serve God not man. Repent Make your fruit good, follow Christ as your living example Matt 3:8; 12:33-37. Focus on God as the solution not the problem, and ask for His help Matt 6:33; 5:3,6,8,10,12; 7:7-13. Focus on God, ask God to forgive you, ask man to forgive you, and let it go. Once you ask for forgiveness you are forgiven it is under the blood, let God cleanse you from all unrighteousness 1 John 1:9; James 5:16. God is the solution and The Holy Spirit is the great counselor, the Vicar of Christ John 14:15-21; 15:26; 16:7-15. Let Holy Spirit do His work. Ask Holy Spirit to do His job in solving all your problems. The role of a counselor is not foreign to scripture it is an implicit role of Jesus and The Holy Spirit. "Parakletos" refers to the Holy Spirit as our heavenly counselor and guide. Although we will not be exploring deep or serious psychology we will embrace a less abrasive form of personal evangelistic counseling used to help those dealing with suicide, depression, anxiety, etc… so that we can refer them to a professional. This is only a precautionary measure in case we deal with a severe case such as suicide. A counselor is one who is called along beside one to help, to defend, and plead ones case. Every Christian is called to "Rejoice with those that rejoice, and mourn with those who mourn." The number one principle we can remember in counseling a person at the door, in the house or on the street is the "In Him, for Him, and To Him" principle. Represent a hopeful, life-giving, renewing, refreshing healing Jesus who can and will meet all there needs. Share with them that if they are in need what ever they need; Jesus is the answer John 14:6; 2 Cor 1:20. This will bring the blessings threw Him, to us, and for us. The key to solving any problem is getting them to establish a relationship with Jesus. Without Jesus they are donut hole, empty in need and we have the answer that they need, Jesus. Our own personal prayer time, devotional time, bible study, emotional health and stability, as well as our coping skills are the most important skills important resources we bring into the counseling relationship. Therefore it is vital to ask ourselves, "How do I cope with my own problems?" We cannot help people with any more than we already have or know. If our lives are characterized by lack of discipline, emotional maturity, or chronic depression, we don’t possess the basic resources essential for counseling. In such a bad case we are in need of help, counseling, and healing. One does not have to be perfect and spotless to help another person, but you do need a relationship with The Father, sensitivity to His spirit, control of your emotions, and a sense of emotional stability. If we are in lack it might be better to find someone else to counsel them. Our aim is not to be a professional consoler but to strengthen, encourage, build up, to exemplify Christ in out lives, and to lead people to Jesus. To do this we don’t have to know all the counseling techniques we need Jesus, to give them Jesus. That is our number one goal. Secondly we strive to do our number one goal threw our number two goal which is using all possible humans means to bring that about in and with the love of GOD, in and by His Spirit. Who we are is at least as important as what we say and do. We will all give account for every idle word that we speak on judgment day. To be an effective counselor we must have compassion and accurate empathy. Compassion is an inner care for their need, a desire to carry their burden with them. Empathy is not sympathy; people don’t want sympathy. "Oh. I feel sorry for you, poor Tim." No they want compassion, and empathy. Empathy means, "To feel with." "To feel with" directly relates to carrying one another’s burdens. Proper empathy is more "I have been there before", "I have not been there but I understand I am here for you", "I haven’t been there before but I know GOD, and He understands. He left His heavenly throne to meet your need", or "Jesus is you answer, lets pray." Before we focus on analyzing the problem, we must hear and feel what they are saying. This takes a listening ear and a softened heart. You must for their sake be slow to speak, slow to anger. You need to have a gentle tone in your voice, and softness in your eyes. Ask question; don’t be to abrasive in doing this try not to agitate the person. Inform them you just want to understand their situation better and want to have a better understanding of how to help them to know what you can do for them. Pray with them and ask God to give them the help they need. Lead them, guide, the disciple them and teach them to become self-sufficient. The whole point of counseling is to get them to express their problem, and to learn how to deal with it on their own. You are just a link for them to solve their own problem. Listen-ask questions and encourage them to solve their own problem. You can get sued for giving false advice, or advice that does not work. Allow them to cry and express emotion if they have to. Pray with them as you go on ask God to release their fears and struggles. Tell them to allow God to release them if they need to cry, laugh, sing, etc… go with it bless what The Father is doing. Cause the counselee to feel really cared for. Some true compassion allow you heart to feel for them that the compassion, mercy, and grace of Christ might flow threw you and when you finish the session in prayer you might do it with more sympathy, direction, intent, purpose, and care that God might do a greater work. This is much better than when you are praying at someone. If you feel the pain when you are praying with them, they can feel their love. It is much more of a blessing for them to feel so cared for. Listening is a discipline. Learn to have a listening ear, without shooting of at the mouth before the counselee can receive the needed help. The goal is to help the person feel care for and that they are no longer alone in their problem. It shows them that there is someone else cares for them. This would be an opportune time to share your testimony or a testimony of a similar pain in you life so they feel that you can relate to them, if not the same pain (because we are all different), but a similar pain. Make sure you posses a non-possessive warmth, don’t smother them, and don’t neglect them. Show them a warm kind, gentle love they may really need it. Watch how the person reacts to you, we must try not to be offensive. Do what ever seems to make them comfortable to them; if all else fails be yourself. Some people may be trying and you will have to ask God to give you more of the fruits of The Spirit Gal 5, 1 Cor 13. It may have to be a supernatural grace of God to handle some people. We want them to know the love of Christ, not the anger or frustration of man. Ask your flesh to get out the way and command God’s Spirit to rise and give you words of wisdom, and words of knowledge for the situation that can bring inner healing, relational healing, inner strength, etc…. Having a Non-possessive warmth means that you care for the person whether they join you church or fellowship, you love them because Christ loves them and wants to save them. Help them find a church or place where they will feel comfortable, at home. Try to build a relationship. You must be genuine if you are not genuine most people can see threw it and you will become an offense rather than a help. Be transparent let them know the real you so that they can trust you. Don’t’ be fake, let them see who you are (a Christian) and whom you love (Jesus). Make sure that you inform them that whatever they tell you is confidential no matter how entertaining. Do not tell anyone. Do not betray their trust many sinners already have an innate distrust of hypocritical Christians that is why many will never step foot in a Church, because so called Christians have lied to them. Show them the gospel, to some lost people you will be the only bible they know, make their impression of Jesus in you count. Number one in counseling is counsel by the power of the Holy Spirit. You need the gifts, and so does the lost person in counseling continually insist on praying for them. Share the gospel with them. Show them the love of Jesus. Learn to listen to the person and God at the same time, So that when the time comes to counsel or pray you have the opportune word for the problem.
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